I’m tired of bi women being the punching bags of internet pride.

New Pride month, just the same boring jokes about bisexual women.

Every year, wannabe comedians online use Pride Month as an opportunity to poke fun at bisexual women, especially those who date men. 2026 is no exception.

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To be clear, this started before June 1st.

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As a bi woman, I bite down every time Pride approaches because I know these jokes are coming. Not only are they tired at this point, but they show that stereotypes and prejudices against bisexual people have not changed. (And I’m a bi woman dating a lesbian, so I’m not even the butt of this particular joke and I’m still disgusted.)

Before I go any further, I want to be clear that bi people are not the most oppressed faction of the LGBTQ community. Without a doubt, transgender people are oppressed by the United States and other governments, and they need our support. The existence of transgender people is threatened by laws that prohibit gender-affirming care, barriers to accurate identification, freedom of speech, permission to play sports, use the bathroom, and more. Not to mention all the transphobia we see from the public outside of government. That’s disgusting and should stop.

Cis-bisexual people never experience this level of threat. I’m not trying to do an oppression Olympics. But considering that similar jokes are repeated every year, the time to talk about it has passed.

It’s also worth pointing out that there are parallels between biphobia and transphobia, and that it’s a human tendency, although certainly not representative of everyone, to want to put everyone into neat little boxes. See everything in black and white. As a species (especially on the internet) we struggle with the nuanced gray areas of life, believing two things to be true at the same time. This is exemplified by both gender essentialism, the belief that men and women have certain essential characteristics, and biphobia, the disdain for (or refusal to believe that is true) people who are attracted to more than one gender.

And perhaps that’s why monosexual people (gay and straight) can be hostile to us. At least, that’s one of the reasons.

Misogyny cannot be ignored here either. Every joke I’ve ever seen on this Pride is specifically about bi women, completely ignoring bi men. When it comes to biphobia, bi women are assumed to be straight and bi men are assumed to be homosexual, so their attraction to women is always questioned.

Harmful stereotypes about bi people

Certain stereotypes are unique to bisexual people. We are greedy, we are hypersexual, we are cheaters, we intend to change someone to a different gender, we pretend to get attention, and being bisexual is a choice.

The sad reality is that these stereotypes don’t just lead to mean social media posts. They affect real life. As I wrote for Mashable, bi people’s mental health is affected by this stigma, and bi people are more vulnerable to intimate partner violence. There are multiple factors for this, from believing in sexual orientation myths to the desire to “change” women to straight…

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Famous examples are Amber Heard and Johnny Depp. In 2022, after the infamous Depp v. Heard case concluded, Rebecca Bodenheimer wrote on LGBTQ media Them:

When psychologist Dawn Hughes took the stand in Johnny Depp’s libel trial against his ex-wife Amber Heard, she told the court that Heard’s bisexuality had been a point of contention in the actors’ tumultuous marriage. Hughes gave an example. Mr Heard was “under intense scrutiny” for his interactions with women, and on one occasion Mr Depp allegedly saw Mr Heard interacting with another woman and in a fit of anger, he “manually penetrated” her.

Bodenheimer went on to say: ”[Heard’s] When she divorced Depp in 2016, her bisexuality was used as a weapon against her, with the media suggesting she was untrustworthy and betrayed him because of her sexuality. ”

“On social media, Depp’s supporters used hashtags such as #AmberHeardIsAPsychopath, #AmberHeardIsALiar, and #AmberHeardIsASlut. All of these sentiments reflect some of the many stereotypes and prejudices that bisexual people still face,” Bodenheimer wrote.

We need to be aware of the harm that can come from the same biphobia that leads to petty jokes on the internet. I’ve encountered similar biphobia, although I’ve never had an experience like Heard.

In 2019, a few years before I met my fiance, I attended a Sapphire speed dating event. We had a great time, but at the end, as we were waiting in line for the restroom because there was an afterparty scheduled for another location, I overheard someone say that they would never date a bi woman. And I was so hurt by this that I left immediately. We didn’t go to the second location. I didn’t even go to the toilet. I didn’t say anything either, so who knows if this woman knew that she had offended me.

I understand that the woman may have had a negative experience with bi women that led her to make such a statement. However, like any other group, Bi people are not monolithic. Instead of treating us as individuals, she completely abandoned us. Or, perhaps worse, she didn’t even base her preferences on her own past and just judged bisexual women for dating or sleeping with men, or other biphobic ticks.

If I were to give advice to myself in 2019, I would say to stay away from that person and go to the afterparty. (But in the end, it didn’t matter. I met the love of my life a few years later.)

Guys, we’re a little annoying

However, as a bi person myself, I admit that there are parts of it that are a bit annoying. We are the “but, actually…” of the queer community, and for good reason.

As bisexual author Zachary Zane writes in his memoirs Boyslut and Men’s Health, bisexuality can be difficult to make visible. In theory, you should be holding hands (or flirting) with two people of different genders at the same time. And that doesn’t happen if you’re in a monogamous relationship.

Zane is advocating for bisexual audibility, the practice of coming out as bisexual.

If you assume someone is gay or straight and they tell you that you’re wrong, you’re likely to perceive that person as an unpleasant person. It’s true that being wrong and being told that you’re wrong is annoying. But for many bisexual people, saying so is the only way they can make it known.

I don’t think you need to tell people they’re wrong about you at every turn. We also know that there are times when you need to advocate for yourself and your position within the LGBTQ community. We’re here, we’re queer, we’re used to it, etc.

Bisexual people may be the “but really” in the queer community, but we’re also the “yes, and” and I love that. We live in a gray area, or nuance. It’s okay if you aren’t always overtly bi, and it’s okay if you’re in a straight relationship.

Maybe next year I’ll write some jokes.