The tension on FOX Sports shows reflects our country’s political situation.

It’s been a fun World Cup so far, but not a dramatic one. It’s mostly the stars scoring for fun, and everyone else was glad that ICE wasn’t pushing people into the paddy wagon with their official fan fest.

The closest we have to aggro on and off the field is America vs. Jesse Marsh, but that one had no legs.

The only notable example of international suspicion and hatred is FOX’s World Cup committee.

It is made up of former stars Thierry Henry and Zlatan Ibrahimovic, as well as former player Alexi Lalas.

Lalas has been a longtime staple of American soccer programming since his days broadcasting from a basement in Aurora, Illinois. He was once best known as the only famous American soccer player, mostly because of his biblical mop of red hair.

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My hair was cut. Instead, the personality he has cultivated is “irrepressible bullishness.” Laras doesn’t speak. He doesn’t even pronounce it. he declares.

He doesn’t have a noticeable sense of humor, but he laughs constantly. It’s like he’s just waiting for you to say something he thinks is stupid and that’s all you want or can say. The overall effect is “someone you don’t want to sit next to at a dinner party.”

The three didn’t work together until this World Cup. This was a risky proposition. It started off badly, with a section discussing Norway’s Erling Haaland. For no reason, Lalas was screaming in the studio bathroom as if he had found a bomb.

“I love you, I love you, Z…” Lalas shouted at Ibrahimovic. “…But I’ll take Haaland in your place.”

To know anything about Ibrahimovic is to know that he has a huge ego, even if he is winking at it. Once, when asked what would happen in the upcoming match, Ibrahimovic replied: “God only knows… you are talking to him right now.”

It would be easier for Ibrahimovic to forgive Lalas for kicking him in the groin on live TV than to denigrate his professional abilities in this way. The surprise and anger on Ibrahimovic’s face was unmissable.

The next day, Ibrahimovic called Lalas “ignorant”, although not directly, and Henry imitated visible shock. Laras continued to laugh.

At that point, the internet caused discomfort and turned on. A few days later, Henry and Ibrahimovic were photographed juggling balls in the studio. Lalas was clearly not invited to participate. At one point, Henry faked a pass and spun away just as Lalas humiliatedly stretched his legs and mugged for the camera. Is it bullying if the bully is the one being bullied?

This is all bad casting, but it’s also a near-perfect encapsulation of our geopolitical moment.

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In this rendering, Henry, who is more French than French, is aristocratic old world. Ibrahimovic, whose family famously fled war, is the newcomer. This makes Laras represent the American Empire.

Laras plays the fool. Henry and Ibrahimovic balk at him. We’re all expected to know which side we’re on, but who’s winning here?

After watching Lalas for five minutes, don’t feel the strong urge to reach through the screen and slap him. But he’s a guy who understands his audience. Americans don’t want urbanity. If that were the case, the local PBS affiliate wouldn’t be floating belly-up in a nearby lake. They want someone who screams or someone who is sophisticated and vulgar.

Henry and Ibrahimovic don’t say out loud what they’re thinking, though they sometimes give each other sneaky sidelong glances in the hopes that the internet will hear it. If that happens, the casual live show in the United States may be sacrificed. Both of them are willing to suffer through Lalas’s chatter. The fact that everyone thinks he’s wrong seems to increase the confidence in Lalas’ voice.

I think this really describes the current state of international diplomacy. Every time our Prime Minister congratulates our neighbor on losing a war they started, I see Henry staring into space after Lalas’s insane observation. Henry is us and we are him.

Perhaps this is the beginning of populism. Some strivers find themselves outside the system they want to be a part of, but can’t find a way into it. So they tried to make the system cheap and stupid.

Their reactionism is self-reinforcing. The more people say “stupid”, the more stupid they become. The stupider they are, the louder the complaints, the more painful they are, and the stupider everything is.

Sometimes I’m reminded of Gore Vidal and William F. Buckley doing political commentary on live television. How did we get from there to here? I’m not just talking about critics. I’m talking about everything. Everything. The whole empty worship thing that feels very chauvinistic.

What really matters is that everyone who participates in these circuses is paid in the only currency currently accepted in every country on earth: attention.

Lalas isn’t on TV to be smart. He’s there to be stupid. He is there to chide the elites and perhaps make them do what they want, which is to disrespect him. This way, he can play the bullied American instead of doing what most people in his position would do – let the adults speak first.

If you saw any of these and thought Lalas was losing, which is hard to avoid at this point, then you no longer understand how the media works.

Henry and Ibrahimovic are underrated. What are the giants of this game doing with their wits about this fool? What percentage of this is theirs, apart from a few dollars they don’t need? Nothing. There’s a reason why Joni Mitchell didn’t do a duet with the Backstreet Boys, but I’m sure it would have sold.

Lalas, on the other hand, gets what he wants, just like in America.

Twenty-five years ago, most people didn’t know who he was, even though he was playing a game that he now just talks about. But now everyone knows his name. I mean, he’s ready to be the chief of something.