Deia Elbara on the Gaza Strip – Jehad al-Asser left his tent early in the morning in Dea Elbara in central Gaza for a new, exhausting journey to get food for his family.
His destination on Wednesday: Rafa’s aid distribution point, far south of Gaza, is run by the US-backed Gaza Humanitarian Foundation (GHF).
Jaehad reached the site by walking “stricken” 10km (6.2 miles), mainly driven by the weight of responsibility of his pregnant wife and two hungry daughters.
The GHF site was Ehad’s only hope, as hunger spreads throughout Gaza, a direct result of months of lockdowns on Israeli territory.
This is despite the controversy surrounding the organization that its head resigned on Sunday, saying that it cannot follow the humanitarian principles of humanity, neutrality, equity and independence.
The lack of experience dealing with the distribution of GHF aid was highlighted on Tuesday when at least three Palestinians were killed in the mixed chaos surrounding relief efforts.
But in Gaza, people are hungry and desperate. Jaehad is among them.
After a 90-minute walk, the 31-year-old arrived at the iron gate of the distribution center along with thousands of others before suddenly opening.
“The crowds spiked. There were thousands of people. There was no order at all,” Jahad told Al Jazeera. “People rushed towards the garden, where aid boxes were stacked and moved to an internal hall where there was more supplies.”
“It was chaos – a real struggle. Men, women and children were all packed together and pushed to grab what they could. There’s no cue, no system – just hunger and obstacles,” Jahad added.
In the hall, people snatched away anything they could carry. “Everyone who could lift two boxes took them. Sugar and cooking oil were their priorities. They grabbed what they wanted and rushed out.”
“There was no trace of humanity in what happened,” he said. “I almost got crushed by the crowd.”
A little further afield, armed foreign troops were surveillance without intervening. Jahd said he would approach one of them and stand up to him.
“I told them, ‘You’re not helping – you’re overseeing hunger. You should leave. You don’t need it here.”
Jahd was able to get only a few items: cans of tuna, a small bag of sugar, pasta and packets of biscuits scattered across the ground. He carried them in plastic bags over his shoulders and then went back home for a long journey.
“I got a little bit. I was afraid of staying long and being trampled by the Stampede. But I had to get something back. My girl needs to eat. I have no choice,” he said.
When he returned to his tent, his daughters were happy to welcome him.
“My wife and I separate the food we bring home so our kids can eat for several days. We often skip meals. The kids can’t stand this… and I take full responsibility for feeding them,” he said.
Theory of the Apocalypse
Awad Abu Khalil was also in a hopeless crowd on Wednesday. The 23-year-old explained that the crowd quickly reached the food and was “apocalyptic.”
“Everyone was running. It was a mess. The aid was piled up, everyone attacked it and grabbed what they could.”
Awad said he heard the shooting in the distance and likely targeted a young man trying to bypass the designated route.
He expressed deep frustration with the staff. “I was hoping that American staff would distribute aid to the table and hand each person a share. Not this insanity.”
Images that appeared on Tuesday and Wednesday fueled international criticism of the GHF, with representatives from several countries denounce Israel’s decision to prevent the UN and international humanitarian organisations from bringing aid to Gaza.
Israel stopped aid invasion into Gaza in early March, but the ceasefire was still ongoing. Since then, it has unilaterally broken the ceasefire, doubled in the war with Gaza, with official deaths currently at over 54,000 Palestinians.
“We previously received assistance from international organizations and the United Nations,” Jahad said. “It was delivered by name in an organized way. There’s no confusion or humiliation.”
By the end of Wednesday, the Gaza government media office reported that at least 10 Palestinians seeking assistance in the last 48 hours had desperately sought assistance.
Humiliation
Awad and Jehad were both able to go home with food.
Jaehad said his wife and mother would make bread from pasta, soak it and then knead it into the dough. His wife used sugar to make simple puddings for her children. He will be back Thursday, he said.
Even that’s better than most people in Gaza.
Walaa Abu Sa’da has three children. Her youngest is only 10 months old.
The 35-year-old couldn’t see people returning to the Almawasi evacuation camp in Khan Yunis, who carried food while her children were starving, so she decided to go to Rafa herself.
“I fought my husband. [Israeli] Army. I vowed to go to myself,” Wallaa told Al Jazeera.
Devoting her children to her sister, she joined the crowd heading to the distribution site.
“My kids were on the hunger crisis. There was no milk, no food, no baby powder. They cried day and night. “So, regardless of my husband’s thoughts, I went.”
But by the time Walaa arrived in Rafah it was too late.
“People were fighting for what was pretty much left, some were carrying torn parcels,” she said.
Walaa left the distribution site empty-handed. On the way home she saw the man drop a bag of flour from the torn parcel.
“I picked it up and asked if I could have it,” she said. “He cried, “I came all the way from Beit Rahiya in the far north. [of Gaza] To get this. I have nine children who are all hungry. Sorry, sister, I can’t give it to you,” he left.
“I understood, but his words broke me. I cried at what we became.”
Walaa described the experience as deeply humiliating. She was full of shame and inferiority.
“I’ve always covered my face with a scarf and I didn’t want anyone to know that I’d get a food parcel,” said Wallaa, a teacher with a bachelor’s degree in geography.
Despite her sadness, Wallaa says she will do it again if necessary.
“When your children are crying out of hunger, no dignity remains. We will not allow those who have allowed us to reach this point.”
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