New York (AP) – An unstable economy. Amazing student debt. There is little prospect of work. Some recent university graduates have a heavy burden A mountain of reasons to go home. For others, the choice may be as easy as theirs Trying to save money, Or they want the physical and emotional comfort of their family.
However, familiar things may feel different from the changing dynamics associated with growing. One thing is for sure, if you are a new graduate or one parent, you are not alone in navigating the new terrain.
Maturity and respect among all parties is a good place to start before those packaging boxes arrive. that’s right A clear pass ahead. Consider these tips to get all the features to work.
Set clear expectations early
Parenting Trainer and author of Mission Parents, Richard Ramos encourages parents and their young adult children to invade Their traditional role.
For parents, they move from authority to ally.
“You’re no longer raising a teenager. You’re involved with an emerging adult. Go from “manager” to “mentor.” Provide guidance rather than control.
Graduates humbly return home.
“You may have a degree, but you are still under your parents’ roof,” says Ramos. “Show your appreciation. Contribute to your household. Just ask before assuming you can demonstrate your growth as a young adult. Respect the space they have created for you.”
Drill down to detail
As a counselor and parent, Veronica Liechtenstein knows firsthand what Ramos means. Her 26-year-old son has been living at home for two years since graduating To save money for his first home.
“I have learned that clear, cooperative boundaries are the foundation of harmony,” she says.
Lichtenstein has a lot of practical advice and starts with a collaboratively created “living contract.”
“His proposed terms were the starting point for negotiations, which allowed them to take ownership while ensuring mutual respect. The final signing agreement covered everything from chores to quiet times,” she says.
For example, common areas should be kept clean and advance notice is required when planning group gatherings.
“It emphasizes that this is a temporary goal-oriented arrangement,” says Liechtenstein. This means that she:
Regular check-in holds everyone accountable.
Crystallize chores and shared resources
Amy McCready is the founder of PositiveParentingsolutions.com and author of The Me, Me, Me Epidemic – A Step-by-Step Guide to Raising a Competent and Appreciative Children in an Overseased World.
She proposes Set expectations Regarding shared resources.
“If they drive your car, be clear when it’s available, who pays for the gas and maintenance, and what responsibility you are responsible for the privilege,” says McCreddy. Use the phrase “When using time” to respect and keep things directly. Once the responsibility is complete, the car is available. ”
When a conflict arises, it’s because in many cases everyone goes back to the old roles and old rules, she says. “Pause and say, ‘Are we interacting with them the same way they did when they were 17?”
Next, reset it as intent.
What about special guests?
Parents should determine whether a couple’s visit to the resident adult child is comfortable with them. Such an overnight visit With a romantic partner McCready’s notes that could be tricky.
“If an overnight visit isn’t something you’re okay with, setting that boundary is perfectly appropriate,” she says. “We’re so happy you’re here. We want everyone to feel comfortable. For us, that doesn’t mean an overnight guest while you live in the house.”
Parents can ask to be told in advance whether the graduates are planning to sleep elsewhere.
Parents, be careful not to judge
Eric Wood, director of the Center for Counseling and Mental Health at Texas Christian University, says parents need to check in for their complaints about their new life scenarios. Their alumni may feel embarrassed and worry that they are a burden.
“Don’t judge by the current job market or recent global events, especially because it’s important not to be critical of graduates who have to go home,” he says. “It’s more important not to rush to an entry career position, as advised incoming college students to encourage them to rush to a specific academic major. Establishing a solid trajectory for a successful and happy career is a priority.”
Wood said the new mantra for parents should be: Fully launch graduates.
“It’s important not to act like your parents or family is trying to solve the problem,” he says. “To do so simply send a message that graduates are problematic and could lead to conflict.”
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